Mixed Girl Problems: I am from the Midwest

I have always felt hesitant to share my own struggles with race in America because of backlash I received in the past. 

But with more attention to #blacklivesmatter around the world, I think now, more than ever, is the moment to share my story. I have waited for a long time for people to want to push for change on a large scale since I have been silenced in the past when I have tried to raise my voice about these issues. 

I want to make a disclaimer that these are my experiences which are unique to my perspective due to my upbringing. Now, it seems everyone of all races wants to be apart of this movement,  so I ask anyone who reads this to

reflect upon yourself and share your racial histories with others too in aim of positive change.

To start, I was born and raised in Minnesota where my parents met and decided to settle near my father's family in the suburbs of St. Paul/Minneapolis. So you know, I am mixed race because my dad is white and my mother is black. Actually, I remember my grandmother always telling me to feel proud that 

my ancestors are from Poland, England, Africa, and possibly more places I would discover when I grew more curious. 

My grandparents had a lot of influence in my early life and we would spend some weekends and always the holidays together when my cousins travelled to visit. We made a lot of memories creating family traditions and doing a lot of outdoor activities and for me, I loved my childhood years in Minnesota despite a few memories I had dealing with my own racial identity. 

Growing up in grade school, at times I was the only student of color in my classes and I remember telling my mom one day after school that 

I wish I were white so I did not have to look different and then I would have friends. 

Reflecting back, I cannot say with confidence that I said these things due to other kids treating me different because of my skin color. But, rather my own realization that I was not like the others in my class and it made me feel like I needed to look white. Even more, it was crazy to think that as a child, I too did the same tendencies like children in previous studies, to prefer white barbie dolls over black ones. 

I just want to point out quickly that my examples demonstrating at a young age,

a child feeling that white is the default race shows how critical and deep racism has impacted us 

and it impacts us all psychologically. And this, I personally think is one of the most harmful parts of racism since it can continue to reach generation after generation. 

Like I said at the beginning, for things to change, this needs to happen on a large scale where all industries, including companies, people of all races, and those around the world should be involved in this 2020 movement.

Okay, back to the story!

Once I started middle school, things were different as the pool of students attending were more diverse and I started to find a group of friends I could relate to. Seriously, I was happier that I had found a group of friends who were not only of all kinds of ethnicities, but who were interested in the same things as me, like getting good grades and learning new songs on the flute. 

Yes, I was a band geek, nerd who also happened to love playing sports, which were the qualities everyone did and should notice about me! 

At this point, middle school was a good experience for me and I was excelling in the school band, volleyball and track teams, and my classes.  Besides my identity issues in grade school, I had an awesome childhood growing up in the suburbs of St. Paul, Minnesota. However, the biggest culture shock of my life was yet to come. Starting in my last year of middle school, we moved to the suburbs of Columbia, South Carolina. 

Ever since my first month living in the deep south, I strongly encountered blatant racial discrimination. 

If you liked my story, please share or connect with me on Instagram! Let's support each other to make a positive change -Megan #beunbounded

CONTINUE TO NEXT PART- Mixed Girl Problems: We're Moving Down South

(COMING SOON)